Dating Is Like Prostitution, Only You Don't Get What You Paid For

Topic: Dating Is Like Prostitution, Only You Don't Get What You Paid For (Read 3056 times) previous topic - next topic

Dating Is Like Prostitution, Only You Don't Get What You Paid For

Reply #15 – December 18, 2010, 11:38:06 AM

Quote from: Thunder Bantam;346131

you know at first i didn't really believe any of that, well that was until last night. I met the most amazing girl last night and something just clicked between us. Today were goin on a 1st date im nervous lol but unlike any other girl's something just feels right about her.

Let yall know how it went later tonight :hick:

Good luck man!!!

Dating Is Like Prostitution, Only You Don't Get What You Paid For

Reply #16 – December 18, 2010, 12:09:57 PM

I agree with Vinnie....
I was married to my first husband when I was 19... I was pregnant when we got married and I thought I was in love with him.. when really I was in lust and had very low self esteem and he was a good looking guy who gave me attention and 'wanted' me. Well, we got married had my son, things were good for about a year, of course I still wasn't actually seeing him for who he was. I got pregnant again and that was when I started to see him for who he was... drinking, getting high, going out to bars without me... and I figured out what everyone had been telling me was true... he was running around on me. After our second son was about a year old (3 years into the marriage), he finally left me and the boys. I tried all I could to get him to come back, because I still thought I was in love with him. In reality I was afraid to be alone... and I was now a single mom with 2 kids.. who would want to be with me?
Fast forward about 4 years and I took the boys to Colorado to see their bio-dad... that is where I met my current husband (Roger). He and I got together because well, to be honest I thought he was hot and my ex didn't like him so it was icing on the cake. We fooled around for a month or so, then I came back home with my boys and remained friends with Rog and we talked on the phone for a while after that. We lost touch with each other for about a year and a half, when out of the blue he called me. We ended up talking all the time and eventually he decided to move to where I was living. He stayed with my friend and her husband for a few months, during which we decided to date each other. I ended up pregnant with out daughter and we got married a little less than a year and a half after she was born. We've now been married almost 11 years, been together for 13 years.
We were friends for a while before we actually started dating... I know it was kind of messed up because we started out just fooling around with each other, then became friends, then dated and finally got married. But we have a good marriage. We are able to talk to each other about anything... and we talk several times a day, even when he's working (he's a truck driver so he can talk whenever he wants to). We hang out together all the time and we have fun together. We do argue, but usually not because we are mad at each other, it's usually because one of the teen kids has done something stupid and we are mad at them and end up taking it out on each other... but we know we are safe in doing so because we know neither of us is going anywhere. Then we realize why we are arguing and discover we both have the same opinion on whatever it was... it's just stress that got us going to begin with.
BTW, he also adopted my boys 6 years ago and he has been the only father they have ever really known.. my ex had very little to do with them the entire time they were growing up. The boys both took his last name and are very proud to have it.
We are also still part of my ex in-law's family. They consider me their daughter and Roger as their son-in-law. It kind of off my ex, but he didn't live int eh area for over 15 years, and I took the kids to see his family all the time, so I never really lost being part of their family. They also treat my step daughters as their grandchildren.

Anyway, to answer the original question, no I don't see dating as prostitution... unless you are only dating the other person so you can get a piece and you think that buys in a movie ticket and dinner will get you shag in the end. However, real dating is supposed to be so you can get to know each other... over a long period of time, to know if you are compatible with each other. I find that in this day and age, dating is used to get shag from someone and if a baby results from it.,. well then "I guess we have to get married. " It's used as a means to have shag with someone rather than getting to know them and forming a bond/friendship with them.

I wouldn't want to have to start dating again... and I admit, if I was to lose Roger for any reason, I would probably stay single for a long time.. I just can't see being married to anyone else. He's my friend, he's a great father and grandfather.. he treats me very well, he's responsible, loving and all around good guy. I just don't know if I could find anyone else who is as good to me as he is... and I don't know that I'd want to if I lost him for any reason. It wouldn't be fair to any other guy really, because I think I'd always be comparing him to Rog.

Dating Is Like Prostitution, Only You Don't Get What You Paid For

Reply #17 – December 18, 2010, 07:28:31 PM

Karen, you little sweetie. We always seem to think alike.

Dating Is Like Prostitution, Only You Don't Get What You Paid For

Reply #18 – December 18, 2010, 10:20:13 PM

Quote from: jandmmustangs;346134

Good luck man!!!

Thanks dude, and tonight well it was the best night of my life no lie !

Dating Is Like Prostitution, Only You Don't Get What You Paid For

Reply #19 – December 18, 2010, 11:55:59 PM

Quote from: Thunder Bantam;346186

Thanks dude, and tonight well it was the best night of my life no lie !

........

[SIZE="1"]Sorry, have always wanted to use that one...lol[/SIZE]

Dating Is Like Prostitution, Only You Don't Get What You Paid For

Reply #20 – December 19, 2010, 07:56:11 AM

That's awsome man!! I hope it continues to go well!

Dating Is Like Prostitution, Only You Don't Get What You Paid For

Reply #21 – December 19, 2010, 02:52:32 PM

I think you have to be tested, so you know what to appreciate later in life.

Nicole and I met in January '08..we both were seeing the light after bad relationships. She got pregnant, and we had some hard times, but we worked through them. She moved in, and I landed a full time job. In November, Cole was born, and that was a whole new ballgame. But I loved every second of it. Nicole and I talked about marriage, but nothing too serious. We decided to try for another baby, (crazy, I know...2 kids in less than 2 years..) Annika was born February 17, 2010.
We got on with the marriage planning, and October 30th was the day.

There comes a time when you feel in your heart that this is everything you'll ever want. It's been nearly 3 years for me, and that feeling has only gotten stronger.

I wish everyone could know this feeling.

Dating Is Like Prostitution, Only You Don't Get What You Paid For

Reply #22 – December 19, 2010, 03:43:28 PM

Besides not having any time for a relationship, I have this question that no one can give me a good answer for ....
" Please tell me how my life would be any better by being in a relationship "
When I get a good answer to that question I may consider dating again , but right now I'm not seeing any benefit to having a woman at all ,I have everything I need.

*and shag is NOT a reason

Dating Is Like Prostitution, Only You Don't Get What You Paid For

Reply #23 – December 19, 2010, 05:05:37 PM

Quote from: hypostang;346246

Besides not having any time for a relationship, I have this question that no one can give me a good answer for ....
" Please tell me how my life would be any better by being in a relationship "
When I get a good answer to that question I may consider dating again , but right now I'm not seeing any benefit to having a woman at all ,I have everything I need.

*and shag is NOT a reason

My answer to your question......

Now,this is of course my own opinion,as we all have our own reasons....

As I stated earlier in this thread,I've been single,and I've been married. married life is a lot better. I have a great wife who is most everything to me. My wife,my best friend,my companion. Some people like to be alone. A person can be in the middle of a thousand people and still be alone. I like knowing that there's someone to wake up to,and go to bed with (not talking shag). It's a feeling you can't know unless you have actually felt it.

If one is a very selfish person,than the single life is where that person needs to be. I like having a family (even if it was just me and the wife,she's still my family). Not talking "I have my Mommy and Daddy" family.

I am lucky to have a woman who is very smart,trustworthy,and trusting. She works hard and takes good care of me and the household (I do as well).We are a great team. Personally,I'd hate to wake up one day, being 50 years old,look around and be alone. Belongings aren't anything I "Need". It's stuff that can be replaced with a little effort. Having THAT one person in your life beats it hands down. What do we "Need"? As humans,we need shelter,food,water,and love (No,I'm not gay....LOL).I have those things,I have what I need. I have cars,TV's,tools,and a lot of other stuff. Those are my "Wants".With a wife,I always have a date to anything and anywhere I want to go (luckily she's a pretty girl). I am too old to be running around with the young kids (18-25 or whatever). Not old,just too old to be doing the stuff I did when I was 20. I'm actually happier every year that goes by more that when I was much younger. I think it's a different attitude,and a clearer vision of what is truly important in my life.

Some people are designed to be by themselves,and find happiness in that. I'm not one of those people. I left my parent's house when I was 17 (almost 18) half way through my senior year and never went back. With Gayle,I can always depend that she's there to talk to,tease,hang out with, anything. My best everything.Plus,my other side. Where I like to kid around a lot, sometimes my temper gets pretty assertive,and she has a very serious,even keel about her. Not a real humorous person (she's funnier when she's serious),but she balances my life more than she knows.

SOOOO,in a nutshell, It's good to have a woman for love,balance,and because we,as humans,were meant to have someone to spend our lives with and to share life with.

(sorry if it all doesn't make sense,I just typed it as I was thinking it and don't want to edit).

Dating Is Like Prostitution, Only You Don't Get What You Paid For

Reply #24 – December 19, 2010, 05:13:39 PM

my answer to your question would be to be happy, stuff dont make you happy but the love of a good women will. Trust me i felt the same way until i met brittany and to be honest she completes me, now im glad i decided to date again because before i just said F it cause i had been hurt and didn't want to deal with it anymore. But some friends and family talked some sense into my thick headed self lol.

Dating Is Like Prostitution, Only You Don't Get What You Paid For

Reply #25 – December 19, 2010, 05:26:08 PM

Sounds like you have a good thing Vinnie , now me , I have been married , twice in fact , I'm not against marriage at all , but I have my family , it includes me, my 3 little ones as well my 4 older step children (technically orphans as both their biological parents are deceased), We just don't have Mommy anymore and I am content that way .
Now I am many things but selfish I would not use as an adjective for me (not that you were either) , I'm just at a point where I don't "need" that date when I go somewhere I'm cool going by myself or with my kids . My kids give me more love than any woman I have ever been involved with, including their mother , and its unconditional love too (something that is lacking in most (not all) man/woman scenarios.
I guess I just don't see things the same way as you see them , not that my way is right of course just different than yours , BUT I will say when I was younger I thought I needed to have a woman to be happy I just don't feel that way anymore .That of course may change someday , most likely when my youngsters become teens and decide that Dad is lame and they dont want to be around me lol.

I also would like to clarify when I say I have everything I need I'm not talking about material possessions

Dating Is Like Prostitution, Only You Don't Get What You Paid For

Reply #26 – December 19, 2010, 05:37:45 PM

Hey,I totally respect your side of it. There's no right or wrong, or any "correct" way it has to be. In the end,if you're happy,then that is good. I'm happy,my life is good,so,That's right for me. No two situations can be just alike. Very similar, but not just alike. As long as you are content,at peace,and your life is good,then I have to say you are doing what is right for you. One day,you may meet someone who changes your mind. Until then, if you're happy,then that is ALL that matters.

Dating Is Like Prostitution, Only You Don't Get What You Paid For

Reply #27 – December 19, 2010, 06:36:50 PM

Quote from: vinnietbird;346259

One day,you may meet someone who changes your mind. Until then, if you're happy,then that is ALL that matters.

This, to infinity.

I've had a time or two in my life where I didn't want to be with anyone. But I changed eventually, and in a very long, arduous circle, I met Nicole. But, as Vinnie said in the quote, as long as you're doing what makes you happy, and it works for you and your youngin's, then that is best. Only you truly know what you want, the rest of us have no need to judgment on your choice (not that we are, I think). :D:bowdown: