Fox T-Bird/Cougar Forums  

Condolences and prayers from mine to yours. I don't have any flowery words that promise you the pain will go away, but I CAN tell you I've been exactly where you are...and it's even worse knowing that when he died, he left behind a three year old daughter.

She's 11 now, and all she has to visualize him is some pictures, and of course some of the stuff I shared that Shaun and I experienced as we were growing up. He wasn't my biological brother, but may as well have been...we met when I was 8, and he just 7...his mother and my dad dated till she passed in 2007.

He too was lost in a car wreck...driving too fast, and clipped a semi as he was passing it. Caused him to roll..he was thrown clear across the median and into the opposite direction of traffic. If he wasn't dead on impact, he surely was when at least one vehicle hit what was left.


And all we have left are empty holes in our lives. Eventually, the edges will round off and won't be as sharp, but that hole will never ever fill itself up again.


It's unbelievable what things we can achieve, and how stupidly easy it is no longer exist.


I'm sorry to hear of your loss...it's not something I'd wish for anyone to feel. Blessed Be.

I went through it all. Denial, anger, guilt, apathy.

I remember sitting on the steps to the kitchen of the house I lived in...christmas eve 2005...and utterly shaging lost it. That's when it hit me that it was real...I finished out the year self medicating myself with vicodin and whiskey, and about January 18 of 2006 I sobered up pretty much for good. Have had a few weak moments...about the time when I was going through my divorce I fell into a can for a few weeks. Some good friends, a fast trip to a maybe not so legal place to acquire an 'overnight girlfriend', and I was back to my usual self.

I've actually lost several good friends to car wrecks, and given some of the dumb stuff I've done in the past, that's likely where the guilt came from. I'm over all of it now...just the sadness remains. It stood to reason Shaun would eventually kill himself doing some stupid shiznit...that was always his way. He did it harder, faster, and longer than anyone else. I'm no chickenshiznit, but often in the "dare games" we'd play...I'd usually let out, or off, or give up on whatever stunt we were trying to outdo each other with.

Now that I've got a pretty decent ole lady and three kids of my own...I take it easier than before. Lots of people who didn't take it so easy are...well, NOT there to remind me..and I make it a point to visit their graves 2-3 times a year for a little visit.


Alcohol is a bad enough demon, I've had some bad times with and because of....it's the normal for me, these days, to maybe have a good homemade beer, rather than the salt water flavored carbs that one can buy from the corner store.

I also carry concealed...so even if i wanted to drink more, I'd rather not give up the "ability" to be able to defend myself and loved ones if there were ever a need to. I have nothing against a little sip here and there...everyone has different limits.
I just don't much care for the hangovers...and these days..they hurt a hell of a lot more than they did when I was 19, or 25, or even 33.

It will have been 10 years this coming Halloween since my bro died...when it's my time, he'd ed well better have a half pint of Tennessee whiskey...cause there's some catchin' up to do LOL.

Hang in there...your brother would never want you to feel sadness for him in your heart. I can also reassure you he would not want you to hurt yourself either. I always have been told things happen for a reason and he must of been needed in the after life for something very important, like helping others. We will all be together with our families someday, where there is no longer death... only eternal life. †
Valentine Day will never feel the same again. Keep him close to you.