Look what I got Papa John! January 08, 2005, 11:08:18 PM I thought this was pretty funny. Had a delivery to this house, The woman tells me to come in and that she has to go out and get the checkbook. So I'm standing there holding the bag and her kids are playing. One kid walks up to me dressed as Spider man, "Look what I got Papa John"! Took me a few seconds to realize what he was holding! A big black Vibrator! This kid was playing with it like a rocket ship! I tell the kid, "Uh, I think that might belong to your mom, you don't you put that up"! (I was trying to get him to get rid of it before his mom came back and got embarrased) But she walks in behind me and saw it! "Where did you find that"! He tells her, "In Sharron's room". She looks at me, "Well, that would be my daughter's, I'm gonna have to have a little talk with her" . I could tell she was embarrased as hell. I didn't know what the hell to say! So I said, "Well, at least he didn't put it in his mouth"! She looks back, "Oh thank God"! Then she starts appolgizing to me about it. I told her not to worry about cause shiznit like that happens all the time. Then she tips me $6 and tells me to drive safe. So I'm walking out to my car. A black Grand am pulls up and this girl gets out and tells her friends good bye. (she's pretty ed hot to!) So I'm grinning ear to ****ing ear trying not to bust out laughing. "You must be Sharron"? She says "yeah, You're Daren, right"? (I was kinda suprised she knew who I was, cause I didn't know her) Well, I'm still cheesing it hard core trying not to laugh. I tell her to have a good night and I get in my car. Knowing that in 5 seconds when she gets into her house she's gonna know why I was grinning at her! Clif notes: I deliver pizza, kid his playing with what I think is mom's big black vibrator, turns out its actualy big sister's toy, I meet big sister outside and try not to laugh at her! :giggle: :giggle: :giggle: :giggle: Quote Selected
Re: Look what I got Papa John! Reply #1 – January 08, 2005, 11:13:22 PM I've got to get me a job deliving pizza. You guys see all the crazy stuff... Quote Selected
Re: Look what I got Papa John! Reply #2 – January 09, 2005, 01:14:35 AM now thats funny right there.....great one man...just f in awesome! Quote Selected
Re: Look what I got Papa John! Reply #3 – January 09, 2005, 01:23:54 AM i woulda told her "jeez...you have a big vibrator...does it take D batteries?" Quote Selected
Re: Look what I got Papa John! Reply #4 – January 09, 2005, 02:25:44 AM Quotei woulda told her "jeez...you have a big vibrator...does it take D batteries?" Hey ****er! I tryed to call you right after it happend! You wasn't home! QuoteI've got to get me a job deliving pizza. You guys see all the crazy stuff... Yeah, just be prepaired to see shiznit you don't wanny see. Along with the funny shiznit, I also get gay shiznit, old shiznit, ugly shiznit and all kinds of other shiznit that likes to answer the door naked! :shoothead Quote Selected
Re: Look what I got Papa John! Reply #5 – January 09, 2005, 04:06:10 AM most interesting life I know of...you've got like ¼ of the threads in the lounge well make that 1/3 of them on the first page Quote Selected
Re: Look what I got Papa John! Reply #6 – January 10, 2005, 01:22:05 AM dude, working at the airport I have the extreme (not) pleasure of seeing in everyone's bags. I have many, many /vibrator/shag toy sightings it would almost make you take stock in the Adult Industry. I just had a cute woman Wed. come thru with a and one of those "rabbit" vibrators but here's a couple real quick.When I'm on the x-ray I play a game of "Match the Bag". ID the items inside and figure out whos it is before they pick it up. One time had a bag with a set of handcuffs and a HUGE double sided . I picked the girl whom I thought it belonged to, but she left without the bag. Next thing I know some dude picked it up, talk about a downer... almost made me sick. Had a bag come thru that I couldnt really see into, so cluttered. However I did notice a dense object that looked like a giant letter opener, aka a knife, so I flagged it for another screener to search. About 5 minutes later he came back cursing at me saying I was an asshole. I couldn't understand why until one of the female screeners told me what happened. The guy screener opened the apparently overstuffed bag only to have porn mags spill out all over him. When he looked inside it was nothing BUT vibrators, KY, s, porno tapes/mags, yadda yadda yadda. He had to dig thru it all to find the elusive letter opener shaped item. Well, after the search he came up empty handed and I reviewed the image. Wouldn't you know it, the shape was the internals of one vibrator!I can go on and on and on about shag toys... makes you wonder how long people are going away for! Best of all, do you really need that in carry on luggage? Nothing like a quickie in the airplane bathroom! Quote Selected
Re: Look what I got Papa John! Reply #7 – January 10, 2005, 02:39:41 AM I'm surprised they let that kinda stuff on an air plane. I'd be afraid someone would use a Vibrator as a bomb casing or something. Dude, I've had some pretty nasty shiznit happen to me on delivery. I've walked up to people's houses and caught them jacking off with the door wide open! Once I was delivering a pizza to an apartment, the guy took his time getting to the door, he answered in his robe, and while he was writing the check I happen to notice his wife's reflection on a miror on the bedroom door. She was tied up Bondage style! Once had a guy answer the door with his willy hanging out.I've had people come to the door naked!I once delivered to a family of nudists!I've had people come to the door while breast feedingI had a delivery to the HoJo one day, some old couple left the blinds open while they were getting it on! I've been hit on by gay people, old people, ugly people, Hot women!I've been cussed at, spat on, threatend.I've been to some places where dog and cat shiznit make up the floor!Houses that stunk so bad I had to hold my breathI've been to a house where the person was watching Kiddy porn! (my next stop was to the police station to turn his ass in)I've had people tip me with beer, weed, car parts! I've been to houses where girls were playing truth or dare! One girl was dared to kiss me, Now that would have been fine and dandy had the girl not been 13! I had another similar insedent where the dare was to flash me! She was older. but had some nasty tatas!I had one guy attempt to push me into a swimming pool! I have PE Tubes in my ears, so getting water in my ears would mean about $900 to my ear spesialist. Lucky for me (and him!) I caught the rail and stopped myself!I've had a bunch of other shiznit happen too. maybe one day I'll write a book Quote Selected
Look what I got Papa John! Reply #8 – January 10, 2005, 09:12:54 AM now just think if you had a camera for some of these runs you could add pictures to your book.Quote from: MDJ1281dude, working at the airport I have the extreme (not) pleasure of seeing in everyone's bags. I have many, many /vibrator/shag toy sightings it would almost make you take stock in the Adult Industry. I just had a cute woman Wed. come thru with a and one of those "rabbit" vibrators but here's a couple real quick.When I'm on the x-ray I play a game of "Match the Bag". ID the items inside and figure out whos it is before they pick it up. One time had a bag with a set of handcuffs and a HUGE double sided . I picked the girl whom I thought it belonged to, but she left without the bag. Next thing I know some dude picked it up, talk about a downer... almost made me sick. Had a bag come thru that I couldnt really see into, so cluttered. However I did notice a dense object that looked like a giant letter opener, aka a knife, so I flagged it for another screener to search. About 5 minutes later he came back cursing at me saying I was an asshole. I couldn't understand why until one of the female screeners told me what happened. The guy screener opened the apparently overstuffed bag only to have porn mags spill out all over him. When he looked inside it was nothing BUT vibrators, KY, s, porno tapes/mags, yadda yadda yadda. He had to dig thru it all to find the elusive letter opener shaped item. Well, after the search he came up empty handed and I reviewed the image. Wouldn't you know it, the shape was the internals of one vibrator!I can go on and on and on about shag toys... makes you wonder how long people are going away for! Best of all, do you really need that in carry on luggage? Nothing like a quickie in the airplane bathroom! It is like a walking porn shop where the only people who walk in are old people. :ies: :tg: Quote Selected
Re: Look what I got Papa John! Reply #9 – January 10, 2005, 11:15:53 AM Quote It is like a walking porn shop where the only people who walk in are old peopleNot even, I would say that the majority, like 70-80% of them, are attractive mid 20's females. If I wasn't in fear of losing my job I would offer my services! Quote Selected
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