SHhhhh....it happens.

August 09, 2020, 11:21:31 PM

So about a year ago, some issues started cropping up on the homefront. I started to gradually notice a little emotional distance with the wife. Things got bad, she left June of '19 with the kids for 6 weeks and change. Came home, we both promised we'd work to better ourselves, individually and as a unit.

Well, shiznit happens.

The long and short of it was after noticing some heavy activity with her and her phone, a check of the cell records and whatnot, found out she'd been messing with another guy. He left his wife for mine, as well.

It was pretty rough around February (she left for good in January)....got pretty down and out but thank shag didn't have any kind of relapse beyond getting rip rolling drunk a few times.

Anyhow, this isn't a pity me post, or a hey, look at me thing..it's got a hell of an upside; in April I met a hell of a good gal, we've had some great times, and the kids adore her and she loves them like her own.

As for my marriage......I'm making some calls this week to find out what needs to be done. The (soon to be ex) wife and I have agreed to not have a custody battle, we share the kids equally, and while she moved out (obviously!, lol) it's in the same school district, so that's not a concern.

It's been a pretty god ed rough road there for a time, but for a few good friends, I likely wouldn't be here typing this tonight.
Also, on that worst of nights where shiznit was as bad as I've ever known, the one thought in my mind was "I can not put my kids through this!"

I'll be 43 on Tuesday, life is so much better now. To think....I almost...

Anyway, my head is in a much better space now. I'm eating better, living better. In a few months we'll (Samantha, the 5 kids between us, and myself) will be in a new house with room for all of us.

Sometimes, the dream is attainable. shagin' aye!

I've been here over 15 years, some of you guys even longer than that..
I've "known" some of you younger guys that started here when you weren't even old enough to drive, and now you guys have built and owned some pretty bad ass Birds and Cats.
Point is...shiznit isn't always roses and rainbows. But nothing is worth dying for, and neither is another person.

I've been there, done that. Many of us have. There ever comes a time where someone needs someone to talk to....I'm a real good listener with some advice from my own experiences...

Be well, and stay safe!

Re: SHhhhh....it happens.

Reply #1 – August 12, 2020, 10:53:13 PM

divorce is rarely good, but the best thing to do is make sure you get your just due. try to get to not have to pay any child support to alimony since she cheated on you. the shared custody of teh kids is up to you, and as long as she has been a decent mother to them, it works.

however be aware of her trying to turn the kids against you, it happens in divorce cases, and be ready to deal with that issue.

Re: SHhhhh....it happens.

Reply #2 – August 16, 2020, 09:19:22 AM

This is a bit of a difficult post to respond to.

On one hand, a failing relationship is never an easy thing to deal with.

On the other, it opened the door to better things.

I think the best thing about all of this is that it's turning out to be far better for you and your kids. We are all human. We can't live the illusion of perfection and exact the illusion to come true. As humans, we can pursue our best idea of perfect and be happy with where we land.

I'm interested in seeing the house you and the family franchise are moving into. 5 kids in one household will make things crowded quickly.

Re: SHhhhh....it happens.

Reply #3 – August 18, 2020, 01:06:37 PM

I have 4 with the ex, Samantha has one. Her boy and my third are just 2 and half weeks apart in age..5. What a combo! LOL

I think I'm going to have the basp00get walls fixed and build on here. I've been on this place off and on my whole life, and have been here solidly since 2006.

Yes, it opened the door to better things, though for awhile it was dark, dark times. It really taught me a lot about who I was and who I needed to be, too.

Re: SHhhhh....it happens.

Reply #4 – August 18, 2020, 06:10:08 PM

It certainly isn't all unicorns and rainbows, but it has its moments.

Hiya, Beau.