Need some info/advice in here...

Topic: Need some info/advice in here... (Read 2278 times) previous topic - next topic

Need some info/advice in here...

Reply #15 – January 12, 2008, 01:29:31 PM

maybe if your mom is so hard up for cash, she could sell her $30,000 dollar sports car...

Not trying to be a dick, but when my mom and dad got divorced, my dad got custody and he had to pay back my mom for money that was given to him by our family for the 2 months that she had custody before my dad got us. The guy she married makes almost $200,000 a year where my dad made less then $30,000 and he had to pay her something in the neighborhood of $5000 for the two month we lived with her. My dad also had a $1997 a month mortgage and custody of 6 kids under the age of 18.

Courts are ridiculously one sided.

Need some info/advice in here...

Reply #16 – March 30, 2008, 11:47:31 PM

Well he has been to court, and has to pay 4 payments of 2750 in owed child support...... Hes working but not fast enough to pay his bills and her..... He called to tell me today that the stang might be going down the road, and I about broke down, if it comes to it, I will move away from my mother, my g/f, all my friends, everything so I do not lose that car.... I cant imagine anyone else driving my baby, id go insane. I am THAT attached to that god car. Might be a pile of steel, but its irreplaceable! theres no other 66 that I could sit in, and feel the way that one makes me feel. ****ing stupid court system, I swear to GOD, I lose this car, someones gonna pay, and they are NOT going to like it..... I told him Ill give him every cent, sell everything I own to be able to keep it.. Time to FLIP on my mother tomorrow....

Need some info/advice in here...

Reply #17 – March 31, 2008, 12:02:26 AM

, that sucks. My parents divorced when I was 4 (actually my "biological father" as I refer to him took off, but truth be told, he was a violent SOB and I'm glad I never saw him again). Mom decided that we were better off without him and she was much more worried that he might try to kidnap me or something than what money she might be able to get from him. We moved up to NYC with her parents until she could get back on her feet. In the end it all worked out...she married a GREAT guy when I was seven, and I wouldn't be where I am now (education, skills, environment, the works) otherwise. I thank God she found him rather than some other loser. In the end he legally adopted me so I have his last name and I'm grateful. In a very real sense I've had two (nearly) completely separate lives -- before I was 7 and after. I have no regrets. I call my stepdad "Dad", because that's what he is IMHO. Does he have some character flaws? Yes, but everyone does. I know him well enough that I can manage it pretty well.

I'm not saying that ANY of this applies to you, because it doesn't. Your situation is totally different. What I AM saying is that life goes on, and sometimes things can change in (REALLY!) profound ways that you never expect. Do I have some emotional baggage? Of course, but a lot of time has passed (I'm 38 now) and I've made my peace with it. It will get better for you, but it can take time for perspective to form.

Need some info/advice in here...

Reply #18 – March 31, 2008, 12:10:06 AM

Yea all this has changed my look on alot of things
but if that car, which has been promised to me since i was 4, is sold because of what my mother is doing, Im gonna go ballistic!!

Need some info/advice in here...

Reply #19 – March 31, 2008, 12:11:14 AM

sounds to me that no matter what the situation is with you and the stang, your mother has taken this to a level she feels happy with.
I can only suspect the blood between her and your dad is so bad that she may actually enjoy seeing him go down in flames. Next step for her is to try and work out this with you. She will pin the blame on dad im sure because she knows you are her son and she needs to make sure you are not going to hate her for this.

Nontheless, I dont know either of them or the terms that brought you to this point.

All i know is what you have said, and from what you say, your mom had it within her power and purse to prevent this small part.

Your dad knows he is screwed and its likely it will take years far beyond your 30th birthday for him to get past this. With no money now and steady eimployment in the future pending,, its a likely senerio.

Do you have enough money for a tow truck? do you have any means to get it put in storage?

entertaining any of the two above questions could only lead to more problems in the future. Rest assure, The stang wont bring that much money being as people are already strapped for cash.

Need some info/advice in here...

Reply #20 – March 31, 2008, 12:53:08 AM

Makes me sad to see that (and God knows I've seen it enough times from people I've encountered over the years). This is strictly my opinion, and I hope I'm not stepping over the line here, but anyhow sometimes when a relationship goes sour it's better to just let go. Nursing the hard feelings, the bitterness, hate, whatever, just poisons your soul in the end. It can be hard to walk away from that, I've seen it so many times, some people have to be "right" no matter the cost, but sometimes you just have to say to yourself, "fine, I'm right, now walk away already!" Now, this is easy for me to say, having never been married, but I've seen too many people ruin their emotional health, live miserable lives, over something that was years in the past. Life is too short for that stuff. Maybe it's only because I've reached middle-age that it's so clear now, but it seems pretty darned obvious to me at this point.

Need some info/advice in here...

Reply #21 – March 31, 2008, 11:11:34 AM

I skipped some so sorry if this was said but

Females have the upper hand in the courts system. PERIOD! your Dad will get screwed if she wants him to and he cant do shiznit about it. It sucks for you man and sorry you have to deal with their problems. everything will work out in the end, maybe 10-15 years but it will all be good.

Life is short. Dont hold grudes toward those who are close to you. If something were to ever happen you will hate yourself more than you could have ever hated them.

Need some info/advice in here...

Reply #22 – March 31, 2008, 02:42:16 PM

well I talked to my mom. She always says he doesnt do enough, and says that its BS if he has to sell the car since its been promised to me for so long. She actually gave me permission to have it up here at my house, if i can get him to give me it... seeing as my b day is in 8 days, might just be able to!!

Need some info/advice in here...

Reply #23 – March 31, 2008, 05:02:23 PM

I just read this thread for the first time. DaBoss, I feel for ya. My father left my mom and me when I was 3. Not one penny was given for child support. That was 35 years ago. Fast forward to 5 years ago, when he promised me his '72 HD Sportster for my inheritance which he sold 3 years ago. I had a situation with my ex-girlfriend who left me in the middle of the night, never to be seen again. 1 year later the State of MN serves me papers for child support due. Not wanting to be like my father, I went to court, did my due process, and ended up paying an X amount each month. Later I find out she was using my social security number in Colorado (found out when applying for my mortgage, credit report) I disputed it, but not much can be done there. I later get a letter from the state saying she left the country, and that my child support is no longer due. I have moved on without remorse. I don't hate my father, and I don't hate my duaghter, wherever she is. Can't say as much about her mother. Moral of the story is all things will pass, and you'll be given the chance to move on yourself.

One thought: if the car is in YOUR name, then how can anyone take it from YOU?

Need some info/advice in here...

Reply #24 – March 31, 2008, 07:56:51 PM

its in his dad's name. Tell your dad to sign it over. If you go live with your dad then you cause more problems then solving things.

Need some info/advice in here...

Reply #25 – March 31, 2008, 08:54:41 PM

I think I am gonna just flat out say
Listen, this car means so much to me, and it has been promised to me for so long that selling it is not an option..

Need some info/advice in here...

Reply #26 – April 01, 2008, 11:12:29 AM

You're mother needs a serious talkin to from you. Your parents have to understand that this isnt about themselves, its about u. ask urself if this could be some childish revenge on their part? I dont mean to be mean, its just what i think.
I think if both parties are in agreement to use the car as a down payment or something,(it sounds like u have to convince ur father still) then the courts should allow it, get the car in ur name therefore the money that it is worth goes directly to u and explain that to both of them. i am sorry u are going through this

Need some info/advice in here...

Reply #27 – April 01, 2008, 12:35:12 PM

I can understand the love of a car, I can also understand the pain that sometimes comes from family.

There's an old expression I've learned to live by... and that is Pick your battles...

On the level of the Stang, well cars are freedom... I personally would strive to get the car in my name ASAP; and perhaps instead of walking away, DRIVE away. I don't know the particulars, but hey man, life is full of hard choices... as I said, "Pick your battles..."

Best of luck and good skills to your sir.
My thoughts are with you, as I am sure all of our thoughts as well.

Regards,

Kevin