s'up?

Topic: s'up? (Read 2209 times) previous topic - next topic

s'up?

August 26, 2014, 05:17:08 AM

I've been working. A lot. Haven't been in the shop in almost 4 months, other than to get a hammer once to fix a door in the basp00get, and to air a tire up on the mower.

The sport is gone...all that remains is a rusty, dented shell, a piece of worthless paper, and memories of what I wanted to make it into.

I still have the mustangs. They could vanish tomorrow and I'd feel nothing. In fact, as soon as I have a day off, I plan to swap the V8 into the '87 and sell it off. No remorse at all. It needs to go. The '84 needs a rear end, the front end stuff bolted on in order to make it a roller, and it too will be sold.

As far as remorse goes, I have more regret for my white 3.8 car than for junking out the sport. I had dreams of dying in the sport, or rather, nightmares.

I'm 37 years old now and both of my kids are in school. Life has sneaked up on me said "gotcha!" one time too many. Friends and family are gone unexpectedly. Some days I think I'm on the verge of a breakdown, everything is messed up, and through it all, I've kept a promise to stay clean, and have held to that.

I'm not sure if i need to get laid, see a shrink, or just have a day off to Harley shopping. I need a healthy diversion, but the longer I go without, the more clearly I see that it's all just stupid self indulgence.

To say there's some serious issues going on at home is understatement. Not sure what is going to happen next, and quite frankly, I don't give a . I'll survive, if only to look deep into myself yet another day. The more time i spend alone, the more I realize that is where I'm happiest.

Life begets misery, but misery begets true inner strength. May you all have a brighter day than what I have known, and will know.

s'up?

Reply #1 – August 26, 2014, 06:49:43 AM

Dude people go through times like this. The hell with the cars and calm down and get your thoughts together. Jan of 2011 i fell off a roof and busted my pelvis in 121 places my asatablioum was shattered along with mt tybia and fibia. The pain was beyond imagination to say the least. A trip to the roof in the rehab place would have been the answer but permanent. I thought about it several times. Spent 6 months in rehab and was fine after that. Till jan of this year when i died from a massive heart attack. They revived me and fixed my heart. Got through it and now i am fine. Hay think about your kids and try and sort things out. I have read your posts you are a smart guy and extreamly talented. Please take care and god bless From my heart TOM RENZO!

s'up?

Reply #2 – August 26, 2014, 09:22:42 AM

God made each of us with a purpose and a plan for our lives. No one is here by accident because He is the author and creator of each living breathing person. He loves each of us beyond our ability to comprehend. Because He is holy and righteous we were unable to approach Him because we are not. But because of His great love, he made a way for us to have that relationship by sending His own Son, Jesus, as a perfect sacrifice and atonement for the sin that we are born with. Because of Jesus gift, we are able to have that relationship, the only one that satisfies and fills that emptiness and longing that is in each one of us, if we will only acknowledge Him as Lord and repent of our own sin. John 3:16, the most quoted scripture in the Bible says "For God so loved the world that He gave His only son that whoever believes in Him would not perish but have everlasting life." It really is that simple, to have the peace that only comes from knowing Jesus. There really is no other way that men and women can have that inner peace that each of us so desires. The Bible says in Proverbs 18:24 "....But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." Psalm 46:1 says "God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble." God loves us and He wants to have that relationship, that is there for the asking, but He will not force Himself upon us. He gives us the choice. Revelation 3:20 says "Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and will dine with him, and he with Me." My prayer is that you too, will come to find that peace that only Jesus can give. There is real hope for each of us and it has a name. Jesus.

s'up?

Reply #3 – August 26, 2014, 04:47:20 PM

I agree man....when times get tough you have to realize you cannot do it on your own. Lean on Jesus! He will lead us through it all! Even when you think its impossible, he will make a way!

s'up?

Reply #4 – August 27, 2014, 03:50:38 AM

See my avatar? I've got my beliefs, wasn't asking for a sermon.

Not being an ass...but I've cut a lot of ties the past couple of years because people get preachy about what is best for me and my family.

I'll out with it, some of you may know. I'm Wiccan, but I tend to keep it to myself, as I wish most everyone would about their own beliefs.

I don;t hate anyone at all for saying a prayer for me, or whatnot, but telling me to "find" jesus because I'm having a rough patch is simply ludicrous. There was one person who got me through the losses of people since 1997. Myself. It took some dep searching and more than a little self destruction along the way, but I did it, I did it myself. If you wish to say that inner strength came from a higher being, so be it.

I'm particularly annoyed with people who unfairly judge others beliefs right now, a co-worker tonight told me that muslims are devil worshippers and should all be killed because they killed jesus.

I went apeshiznit on him. Told him that with his mindset, he was no better than the radical islamists who kill americans, christians, and whatnot, and yes, even Pagans such as myself for being non believers. Please note I'm NOT taking up for those murderous s, either.

By the way, as far as christianity is concerned, what about the crusades...taking the fight to the "NON BELIEVERS", the witch hunts, he mass hysteria that followed, and the unbelievable lack of respect most people have for others.

Anyway, I'm done with that, and I didn't want this to turn into a religious debate. Besides, this forum used to be pretty firm on no religious talk...did I miss rule change? I wasn't even going to reply in such a manner, but hell, I DID say I want no pity. I'm dealing with things. It's the unknown and the uncertain that are dragging me down right now. I will get through them however.

It's not so much myself that I'm talking about, nor my wife and kids. I cut ties with my mother over a year ago. She's a shaging idiot, and I'm developing a hatred for self centered, "my way or the highway" types. My dad is pretty much all I have left, aside from Nicole and the kids that I'd kill or die for. Unfortunately.....

We're waiting on results. You want to pray for me, shag off. Pray for him, he's the one that may not be around much longer. Sorry, I'm not being hateful, I just needed to vent. Nothing personal on the religious stuff either. I'm glad you guys know the peace of faith....just because our faith may be different things doesn't mean I can't see the sincerity and the hope in your words...

s'up?

Reply #5 – August 27, 2014, 08:08:42 AM

s'up?

Reply #6 – August 27, 2014, 08:15:07 AM

I'm not being preachy, just telling you the TRUTH. I'll keep praying for you sir...

I've had hard times too, but my faith has brought me through every time. I'm not normally one to tell people about Jesus or my faith, especially on the internet. And I could be a lot better day to day that what I am...but something about your post and the one by 50RACER really made me feel compelled to say something.

s'up?

Reply #7 – August 27, 2014, 08:54:57 AM

All religion aside, sickness and death is something that we all have to deal with. Sorrow and depression from watching a loved one suffer is another universal aspect of our lives.

Somebody once told me, "if I came to you with that problem, what advice would you give me?... Then do just that". It's that simple, really. You know what's best for you. I know you weren't asking for advice, but when you start talking about depression and misery, people want to help. They naturally offer what works best for them, their faith. Now, I don't know what a Wiccan is (I could google it if I really wanted to know, but it's about as important to me as Jesus is to you), but whatever Wiccans do to get through the tough times, do it. Do you have get-togethers or whatever? Just go be with somebody. Not online either, actually go be with somebody. Human contact is underrated these days. I personally like to go camping, sit around a fire and just talk to my wife and/or good friends. Just enjoy the beauty of the woods, the sky, etc. Whether you believe it was created, big-banged, whatever, you can still appreciate it for what it is.

Same with our friends and family. We love them so much while we have them, but we will eventually part. They'll die, or we'll die, it 100% will happen. It's natural to be sad when people get sick and die. I like to take my dog for walks in the cemetery. I look at each headstone and I think "I bet this person meant everything to somebody". Then I lift my head and see hundreds more. The death part sucks, the fights and "what-if's" suck. But the time we have to spend together is priceless.

If you lived by me, I'd give you a completely non-denominational and completely heteroshagual man-hug. Things will get better.

s'up?

Reply #8 – August 27, 2014, 11:56:32 AM

I can not help but speak what I know to be absolute truth. There is coming a day for each one of us where we will face Jesus and we will acknowledge Him as Lord. Unfortunately for most, it will be their worst moment for all eternity when they are faced with His existence and their failure to acknowledge that fact in this life. For the rest, those who have acknowledged Him as Lord in this life, it will be the culmination of all that we have known and trusted and the beginning of joys never ending for all of eternity. I choose Jesus and the peace that He gives in this life now. I don't have freedom from trouble, but I have peace that the One that created me has me in His hand and has my situation in His control, no matter what the situation may arise. I have His promises that NEVER fail. My desire is that all would know that also.

s'up?

Reply #9 – August 27, 2014, 12:25:52 PM

50RACER, wonderfully put and agree 100%.
Thunderbirdsport302, will be praying for you.